I have absolutely had enough of pathetic people and their condescending attitudes.
It’s no secret that my health is shocking, my immune system is practically non existent so I manage to contract every virus that goes around, and if I miss it the first time you can bet your arse I catch it even worse the second time!
My health is also plagued by unknown illnesses and I’m constantly suffering through various doctors tests to try and shed some light on the causes.
All the while I’m fighting my depression and anxiety disorders, daily, I feel like I never get a moments peace, I cannot remember the last time that I slept and woke feeling refreshed as I often have nightmares or anxiety attacks in my sleep. I never escaped the fucking hell I am living, and yet despite all of this, I continue to live my life, I go to work as much and often as I can, I socialise with my friends, I do things that I have no interest in doing, because they want to. And then on the rare occasion I am unable to do something that admittedly I had committed too, I’m forced to endure their condescending shitty attitudes of “you’re always ill, what’s new?”
How about this is the first time I have let you down in over a year, how about the fact that when you let me down for far less I never once make you feel bad about it, I accept that other things are hindering you from keeping our previous agreement. How about you take your head out of your arse for one second and try seeing life from someone elses point of view?
I’m extremely angry right now, because people just don’t understand, these are people who I have never let down, people I have been there for whether they were feeling a little unhappy, needing a friend because something awful had happened in their life, or just needed some company. And I have never once burdened them with my problems, because in all honestly the doctors are baffled by my constant illnesses, and only I can control my depression and anxiety so I would rather not burden them when quite frankly it would exhaust me to try to explain to them a tiny part of what I feel daily.
And yet despite being a good friend, doing everything I can, and always, always putting myself last I have to put up with their attitudes, how very fucking dare they!