Family Matters…

My family have always been the most important thing to me, then my friends, then every thing else.

Seeing my brother struggling in his relationship break up with the mother of his children is hard. He’s now realising he never dealt with the death of our mum, and how much he leaned on his now ex, for support in that crucial time.

A few days ago he tried to top himself, luckily he’s staying with a friend, and his friend popped into his room unexpectedly and stopped him and is keeping the pills away from him now.

My brother has now decided he will seek help from the doctor for the depression and suicidal thoughts. It’s made me realise that even though I understand what he’s going through, I don’t know how to help him, because I’m not in a good place either, so I’m kinda just in agreement with him, how can you tell someone not to take their own life and to stay here when you don’t wanna be here either?!

I stay strong for my family, for my dad! I hope the doctors can help him realise he has so much to stay strong for, his two beautiful children, our dad, me, the many people who love him!

The funny thing after my Mum’s death was that me and my dad both went to counselors, different ones, my sister and brother didn’t, they both took themselves away from the situation and buried themselves into their own little families.
They’re now the ones who can’t handle thinking about Mum, who haven’t come to terms with her passing, even tho I still miss my mum more than anything, and i always will, I can think of her fondly, and I can remember beautiful memories, I can be in the house and room that she passed in without much thought. I can visit her grave and talk and smile, I cry too  but I guess I have dealt with her loss more than they have, maybe as much as I can, I’m in a healthier place. I sure do miss her alot though, she was such a beautiful person inside and out. So compassionate and caring even to people she didn’t know! A very beautiful soul! My world is certainly a darker place without her.

I hope the doctors help My brother, until then I will continue to worry and fret about him.

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