I’m the fool

I feel like life is playing a huge April fools trick on me today.

I woke up feeling like shit, that led to being panicky, and also stress cos I knew I was gonna struggle with work. On the way into work I felt very panicky so my driving reactions were a little slow and it took me a couple seconds longer to pull away at the red light than normal, this happens to people all the time, just glance in the opposite direction long enough that you don’t notice it changed. Well the prick on the push bike behind me decided to have a go at me, he could’ve very easily just cycled past me, I wasn’t blocking his way, but no he had to swear at me and have a go. And that’s my problem what right does this complete stranger have to have a go at me because I was abit distracted, what business is it of his, I wasn’t stopping him going about his life? I wasn’t causing him harm, so why did he cause me harm? Maybe it’s my fault that I’m such a fucked up person thanks to panic attacks, a “normal” person wouldn’t be affected by it really.
And yet here I am unable to pull myself together after the burst of rage/panic attack/hysterical break down of crying he reduced me too.

I didn’t used to be this weak…
I didn’t used to be this way…


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