I’ve had a complete crash. Last night a few little things just tipped me over the edge, and now my head is all panic and bad thoughts constantly. I want to break down and cry, but I think if I do, they’ll be no coming back from it.
And there’s absolutely no one to turn too, I can’t turn to my Dad, I can’t burden him with this, I can’t turn to my best friend, cos she can’t handle it, I have to be strong for her, and I can’t turn to my other friend cos she doesn’t understand, it’s just pull yourself together and get on with it.
And everyone else is non existent, sometimes I wonder why I’m so desperate to stay here if I’m already so alone?
I wish someone could come and save me from myself, take these thoughts away. Stop me obsessing over the inevitability of death and being gone forever, tell me there’s something more, please?