I think I self destruct my life. I know that I let things get on top of me, from the little things to the big things. I take on too much and do too much, even when I’m exhausted, or … Continue reading
Going for a meeting in work to see if I still have a job or not
I feel sick! I barely slept last night cos I kept playing this out in my mind!
I’m still really ill, got a bad chest infection still, doctors told me to stay home and get plenty of rest, but I’ve got to go into work for a stressful meeting which will either result in losing my job, and then I can panic about everything, or I will keep my job (hopefully) but then I will have to stay at work.
Ah yes I have an horrible upset stomach from being on so much antibiotics so I’m really looking forward to being in a public place 😦 oh and the coughing fits where I end up throwing up!! Yes the next few hours will be a joy!
EDIT: The answer was no job.
So I have a chest infection and I’m wheezy 😦 I have mild Asthma, so most of the time it doesn’t effect me, but damn do I know about it right now 😦 The doctors keep giving me antibiotics that i’m allergic too 😦 I’ve not been able to keep food down for the past four days!
I’ve had to take the week off work, which has pissed me right off! I don’t know how much longer their gonna keep me, I need the money and I’m having to take bloody time off!
I’m missing out on social things that I’d been really looking forward to, and I have so much to do at home that I haven’t got the energy or lung capacity (I don’t think that’s an actual thing) to do, everything is a mess, including me!
On a brighter note, at the weekend I bumped into an old friend, that I somehow had fallen out with, we didn’t have an argument just completely stopped talking, no rhyme or reason. We’re hopefully gonna have a catch up in the next couple of weeks, so hopefully that’ll be nice.
Everything is going wrong, I managed to hold it together for a few months and it’s about to come crashing down around me.
Due to being ill so much recently, I had a stomach bug that I caught from y nephew, and also had flu, which I’m still only just recovering from. I’m now likely to lose my job shortly.
I know I’ll struggle to find another job, and will end up doing a crappy job for a crappy wage until I can find something better.
Even worse the likelihood of finding something close by is slim, so then my anxiety kicks in because I might have to travel more than twenty mins to work and when I feel ill and panicky and I’m alone that is terrifying.
I don’t know what I’m gonna do. If I lose my job I won’t be able to pay the bills, which means me and my dad will end up in deep shit.
I’d lose my car, that has been my control on anxiety, it means I can go places, because public transport terrifies me and walking is impossible when your asthmatic and having panic attacks.
I dont know what I’m gonna do. And now this stress is making me more anxious!! Marvellous!!