Job or no Job?

Going for a meeting in work to see if I still have a job or not :/
I feel sick! I barely slept last night cos I kept playing this out in my mind!

I’m still really ill, got a bad chest infection still, doctors told me to stay home and get plenty of rest, but I’ve got to go into work for a stressful meeting which will either result in losing my job, and then I can panic about everything, or I will keep my job (hopefully) but then I will have to stay at work.

Ah yes I have an horrible upset stomach from being on so much antibiotics so I’m really looking forward to being in a public place 😦 oh and the coughing fits where I end up throwing up!! Yes the next few hours will be a joy!

EDIT: The answer was no job.

Advertisements

Anxiety Hell

Tonight I feel like crap 😦

It’s 3:30am and I’m so tired, my eyes are stinging, my muscles are weak from exhaustion and all I wanna do is lay down, close my eyes and have a somewhat decent 8 hours sleep.

Instead I’m anxious as hell and fighting to not descend into full blown panic attacks 😦

My mind is racing, and everytime I close to my eyes, I see my dads war game, call of duty, he was playing earlier in the day 😦 I dunno why? I was watching it a bit, and I wasn’t feeling great earlier either. And when I was younger I suffered seizures briefly that doctors couldn’t find any reason for and could only put it down to video games I was playing.

Maybe this is playing on my mind?